Bringing back someone who left you is not an easy task. It’s not even an easy decision. So you don’t only think of ideas on how to get your Sagittarius partner back, you also have to figure out why they left in the first place and how to make them stay after.
Reasons. If your Sagittarius partner decided to end your relationship, chances are, they are feeling caged in. Sagittarians value their freedom. Once they feel the walls are closing in on them they will head for the door and won’t look back. Not saying this is the only thing that would make them walk. But it’s the biggest factor. Generally, Sagittarians can be impatient, wild, and are afraid of commitment. They are playful and flirtatious and if you voice out your concerns and let them know you feel insecure or jealous they will lose their interest. You have to have fun with them because all those flirting are just that, flirting. If a Sagittarius wants to end a relationship, they will tell you. If they don’t do that, there’s nothing to worry about.
This is the same as being clingy. Sagittarians are independent. Naturally, they will want their partners to be independent. Just like them. They will start feeling nervous and might even panic if all your decisions depend on what they want or what they need. If you think you should do this because you want to make them feel or to know they are important to you … STOP. If you’re deciding on something, whether it be big or small, just either make a decision first, tell them, and ask: “what do you think?” or “hey I’d like to get your opinion on this”. For them, getting their opinion is better than making them decide themselves. Also, since Sagittarius people are carefree, and yes sometimes careless, making them feel things rely on their decisions will be scary for them. They are independent people but looking after others can be strenuous if they’re not ready to do that.
Getting A Sagittarius Partner Back. Stalking your Sagittarius ex and sending them countless of messages and gifts won’t bring them back. You can’t make it happen right away. So don’t push it. Be patient in planning and executing the things you should do. For one, act nonchalant about it. You don’t have to act like you don’t care. Just say you’re okay with it if he thinks it is best (even if you’re not). Offer to be friends with him/her. That way you won’t lose touch and will still know what’s going on even if you’re not together.
Now one of the most important things to do is to love yourself. It may sound cheesy but it’s the truth. Sagittarius people will not give importance to people who do not think of themselves as important. Be selfish if you must. It’s not always that bad. People in a relationship generally makes does things to please their partner. Just take time off to pamper yourself and do the things that you want and don’t think about what he wants or what he may think about it. You’re not in a relationship anymore so what he thinks should not matter, really.
Build up your confidence again. Chances are, you broke up because you were feeling insecure and he knows it. Sagittarius people are very attracted to confident women. He wants someone he can take with him anywhere and not worry that she might not fit it.
All of these boil down to defining yourself. Boost your self-worth, feel important and be important. Respect yourself. If you don’t do that no one will. Make them feel like it’s their loss and not yours. If you take care of your own needs, stop being clingy and start feeling attractive they will find you attractive again, they will look at you again and who knows, they might want a second change again. If it’s meant to be it will happen.
Steffan -yes. Step back. Forgive yourself too and with your forgiveness you will make the corrections necessary for her to forgive you and give you a second chance! I lost tonnes of weight too – its bad but good as ‘looking good’ helps to build our confidences within ourselves and we become stronger as individuals. She will also notice the physical change in you too – a change which wld make you even more physically attractive to other females – do you understand where I am coming from. So spend time concentrating on YOU. Build yourself up and your confidence Afterall if you were being true to you and not something else you would not be in this position right ?! 😉
I’m here anytime!
Ps. I hv an interview tomorrow – keep everything crossed!! Once I get a job (I’m a legal sec by the way) my sag will ‘change’ – u see … I know what pleases his emotions (he is Taurus moon) and I am a Taurus!! And we all know Tauruses LOVE wealth, beauty, comfort, luxury etc! Get it!! 😉 Slowly slowly catch monkey – and if not that monkey? I hv other handsome younger monkeys vieing for my attention!! I lost 21 lb since he saw me in May 2013 snd he was ‘bowled over’ then!! He knows i hv lost weight but he has no idea what i look like!! I hv seen recent pics of him and he is ‘enjoying himself too much’ and has put on at least 3 stones in weight although he is still sexy looking!! Its curiosity that ‘drives’ humans – keep her guessing!!
Keep me posted!
Good luck Eileen with your Job interview, I’ll be thinking of you. You sound like a top woman so they will be nuts to turn you down.
I always go in to interviews with the mindset that they need me I dont need them.
I have been training a lot to occupy myself lately and my body has changed and is a lot more athletic (she is super fit, trains a lot) this hasnt gone unnoticed with her but she keeps telling me to put weight on because she does like the cuddly me whereas I’m a bit too lean.
Ive still go this London trip we were planning to go on but I’m not going to mention that until a few days before we leave because I know what the answer will be.
Its my step daughters birthday Friday so I will be going to see everyone then, she said she will still sign my name on her card and present so its from mummy and daddy, which I really appreciate from her.
I asked her to come back with suggestions on whats best for contact with her and she said she will think about it.
For the next few days at least I wont be seeing much or contacting them either, i’ll be pleasant and nice and just be myself again.
God I love her and miss her…….
Thanks Steffan.
I still miss my sag crush even though I hv not seen him since last year so I know how you feel. But always remember you are in a strong position – a position I wish I was in!! I sometimes think he may ‘find someone else’ in Mexico!! But I convince myself that I am ‘a top woman’ and he won’t get better than me… I know and feel it in my soul that I have the deep emotions to love him to death together with all the freedom he needs. I hope he can – if not – as Beyonce would say ‘I’ll be the best thing he never had’ …
Keep me posted Steffan. Thx for chatting.
HI Eileen, I firmly believe in your heart you know whats right and what is worth fighting for, we both know this and we both know it will happen.
I recieved a text from her last night asking if I was ok, I said no but I will be, she said then that her anger has gone after a hard circuits session she went to so she feels better with me, she then started joking about me not doing it again and saying she will punch me if I do (long running joke between us where I bruise easily everytime she used to hit me in a playful way!) so we chatted on text all night, yes I know I shouldnt have but it was relaxed and after the day we had I wanted it and so did she.
She said that the kids miss me and love me and she wants them to be happy so she doesnt want to restrict me seeing them (this is her telling me she likes me around but saying it in a way that its the kids who need me) So I agreed, we then agreed to watch a film together this weekend, she seemed very happy and she just doesnt let go of me, as soon as I retract she grabs me with both hands, now my head says she wants me around because A) I’m helpful and considerate around her and the kids B) She cant bear the thought of life without me (this she told me a few months ago agter we split)
My Heart is crazy and pumping like mad! I have known her for 6 years, she didnt fall out of love with me, I hurt her trust in me, She doesnt take our relationship lightly, after all 6 years and a father figure for the 2 older kids and a baby was born between us is not something she will let go, I left a big footprint on her heart and soul and this is where her conflict lies, she cant erase this footprint, I know I have left a mark on her for life, this will eat away at her and she wont be able to ignore it any longer.
Clearly I feel better today, I saw her quickly this mornig and we hugged, the fact the kids dont know about us splitting is something I have to take as a positive, she doesnt want to break their hearts and she doesnt want to do something like that when she is so undecided on what to do, ok she is seeing another guy but from where i’m standing it doesnt even come close to the intensity or commitment we had in the beginning, I mean we were insanely close straight away, we did everything in our power to spend even a minute together, talked all day, met her at her work for a quick cuddle, this new guy hasnt experienced that and that is another positive i’m taking.
I will live my life for the kids and for her, she knows this, i’m open about that, friends and family tell me to forget about her but i’m sorry i know her better than anyone and me ignoring her or leaving her will make matters worse as she already doesnt trust me and me running off in to the distance will confirm that, I still think London is on so that will be a nice relaxed environment for us to connect again, but friends I will be treating this weekend as otherwise I could get disappointed, we both need to fall in love again, we both need to reconnect again, this is the only way forward for us, to start fresh, go on dates etc, this was something we couldnt do when we first got together because of various things like 2 babies etc.
May is my month to do this!!!
Hey Steffan
It all sounds like it is going good. She wants u there – so be there for her.
I feel sags are stubborn and hold themselves back with too much pride ie they need the comfort and support but won’t admit to it. U need to keep in touch with her becuase as you say, the minute you stop contacting her she will be too afraid to contact you and I can guarantee that yr relationship will end as she will be hurt and too uncertain as to respond – so yes u are doing the right thing! Please shut out the ‘noise’ of others who want to see yr relationship ‘doomed’. They should only be doing a ‘supporting’ not giving you bad advice. If u ‘give up’ will hv To live with the conscience of ‘what if’ and that is a huge burden to bear. I suggest you stick with her and see this through and If you do (no matter the outcome) your conscience will be clear and you owe that much to yourself.
That’s one of the main reasons why I put up with the weird/strange/confusing personality of my sag crush and hv kept the contact more than him as i want to see for myself if we could hv a chance of hving a relationship together. That’s why 12 months on I’m still here. But he plays his part too – when I ‘call’ he answers! He could easily hv stopped by now and given up and ignored me… Etc but deep down I guess he is curious to see how this plays out too. I told him in Feb when we had a disagreement and had no communication for 6 weeks that I would never give up on him and I hoped that he would never give up on me. I hate giving up hope on people – no one is perfect and yes we risks hurt but earth people seem to be able to bear hurt and deal with our emotions more than air and fire signs. They are insecure and very sensitive and need lots of love and understanding.. If I ever gave up I would always be left with ‘what if’ and that would hurt me and traumatise me more than having the chance of meeting him againagain and hv it not work out because I know that in my heart I gave it 110% and I would be happy with that clear conscience.
Hang in there – u r on the right track ! I hv plenty of ‘nay Sayers’ in my camp and I am very good at shutting them out!!! Once my path is set on course (whether good or bad) it is not going to budge – this is who I am. Sometimes you hv to Tk a chance.
Thanks Eileen, its a breath of fresh air hearing you say that to me, I get it that it looks bad on paper to everyone else but we know that the heart is a instinctive part of your body and your right I wouldnt feel right not trying my very best, I will have massive what if’s if I just walked away, plus reading up on Sag’s behaviour, yes they may use you but they also shut off completely….. has she shut off? no not even close to, i’m so determined to be this model guy she fell in love with again, its working already but by summer hopefully we will be back on the same path again.
My boss just had a chat with me and he said “dont go to London with her, why would you etc” I just said I get what your saying but my heart is set on that goal of getting my family back together…….. Nothing wrong with that.
@eileen By the way how was the job interview?
@Steffan
Steffan – everyone is capable of ‘using’ each other and that is no down to a ‘star sign’. We live on a world of ‘takers’ and ‘givers’…. As people we hv to decide on what we can afford to ‘lose’. I hv friends for 20 and 15 I gave money too (to help them) and they still turned round stabbed me in the back but would that stop me from helping another person again ? No. I believe in love and people and cant help that – it is who I am. I can’t say she is using you – you are still her ‘partner’ and she still has a family with you.
Your boss employs you to do a job – not to give advice about yr relationship!!! Tell him to mind his own!!! When Jesus stumbled across a woman who was either a prostitute or committed adults and was about to be stoned to death, he interfered and said to her ‘prosecutors ‘He who is without sin cast the first stone…’!! Exactly no one is perfect!!! Who knows your boss may be in the same position as you one day and what advice do you think he would like? People are too quick to ‘throw the first stoner’ before putting themselves in the position of the person. You ‘hang in there’ and tell them all to ‘butt out’ of your business!!!
As for job! Its perfect! They seemed lovely but the ‘usual’ of ‘more people to interview..’ so not gonna get ahead of myself. But the company had a great ‘feel’ to it and I know I would be happy working there !! Will see! Just gotta keep ‘plugging’!! will let you know the outcome! Keep everything crossed and pray!!
Got my first client for a manicure tomorrow!
Hv good evening! Keep cool ok?!
Hi Eileen, thought I would share my horoscope for today, quite apt I thought:
Soon, you may get to march to your own rhythm once more. There will still be a need to compromise. But you won’t have to give anywhere as much ground as you have lately had to concede. The pressure is easing off. It hasn’t disappeared entirely yet, but it is beginning to ebb away. Coming next? A reward for the stalwart effort you have been making and for the stoical stance you have been taking. You can also expect vindication for a belief or dream that others had their doubts about, but where your faith never failed.
That last line resonates big time!
Anyway had a lovely morning, it was my step daughters birthday so came over early to make a nice cooked breakfast for my birthday girl, had a funny moment where my ex’s mother who is supporting me a lot and wants us back together said to my ex after she hugged and kissed the kids goodbye, her mother told her not to hug me too tight! I said as a joke that I don’t get hugs anymore and her mother said she should because I’m there every day being a good man! Ha, ex was a little awkward so what I got was a touch of the arm!
She text me after to say thank you
Glad the job interview went well, fingers crossed
Steffan
That all sounds really comforting !!!
Re interview still waiting but they did say that there would be no news till next week. But I hv to say this whole thing is stressing me and I’m quite tearful. I just need a job !!!!!!!!!!
Hey Chin up, it will come, fate plays a big part in our lives.
I’m feeling like May will bring a lot of changes for me, I have a job interview next week, less hours with more or less the same pay but scope to really further yourself, means more time with the kids and hopefully the ex, I told her of this and she was really hopeful I would get it so weekends will be normal again for her and the kids.
She was very subdued last night, I asked if she was ok and she said she was ok just on a downer, asked about what and she said this situation is strange. Then she said its ok you dont need to fix everything! I said I dont want to but i’m here to talk to, remember i’m going through the same thing.
Not sure if things have ended with the rebound maybe? Ive been super relaxed around her, I feel confident and i’m taking pride in my apperance, i’ve bought some new clothes yesterday so I will wear that tonight with some new aftershave, she loves my aftershave but it might bring back bad memories of the past so a new one will be fresh and exciting hopefully, i’m not going over there to expect anything just taking pride in my self and selling myself to this beautiful woman.
I did write her an email on thursday which might have explain her downer or confusion, it was straight from the heart, I told her that i am working hard on rebuilding trust with her, she may not see it but behind closed doors i’m researching and making myself a better man, I said that this is a BIG deal and its the most important venture I have embarked on because the ultimate prize is my family at the end, I said that I will always be there for here and I will not give up on us etc.
I showed it to a female friend and she said its the most beautiful thing she has read, so i’m happy with that! So maybe that has resonated with her and explained her confusion.
We hugged yesterday and we had the sweetest moment where my 3 year old came along as me and my ex were chatting and he grabbed my ex and then grabbed me and with the biggest smile pushed us together for a cuddle, Ha, I said good boy to him and as he turned around she jokingly pulled away really fast but with a twinkle in her eye.
@Steffan
Awww that sounds so sweet! Yes sometimes it is good to put words into email instead of texts. You are one the right path… If either one of you ‘gives up’, let it be her. You just keep going.
Thanks for your kind words re job!
Life is hard sometimes … But gotta keep my Leo moon in actions – never ‘down’ for too long !!!
Hv gd wkend. Spk soon
Hi Eileen, a little update, I picked her and the kids up from a BBQ, she had about 3 drinks so a little tipsy, put the kids to bed and we chatted and laughed so she went to bed and we hugged, but it was different, it was tighter, closer, she then kissed my neck and giggled so I kissed her neck and she enjoyed then she pulled away laughing saying I was taking advantage of her tipsy state, anyway I’m staying on the sofa as I did last night and I went upstairs to our old bedroom and she was in bed, I asked for a pillow and she threw me one so I went in for a final hug and we kissed!!! Proper nice like the old times kiss!! I’m so happy my hard work is starting to pay off however I’m not getting ahead of myself!
But I am excited!!
Steffan that sounds fabulous! But just continue to ‘tread’ carefully and use caution! U know how inpredictable these sags are!
Sags are thrill chasers. We can agree to commit without restrictions.. We might be doubled standard..but i don’t know anybody else who isn’t.. I believe in fairness no competitive influences trying to take what’s mine and loyalty no matter what. I get heart broken over this triple coated layer of unemotional behavior.. I was just taught that if its ment to be it will. If not why grief over the inevitable. Personally i don’t associate with my exs.. When we’re done we’re done… I can be civil but if we broke up on bad terms.. Then its best to stay a distance. I believe in fresh starts.. People in general mess up , forgiveness given. If i felt like it was takin advantage of or what i see or hear sounds dumb to me.. then nah Im sorry time to cut off ties.. You might have good qualities but its doesn’t cover stupidity. Ya know sags can tell when you act aloof so once its figured out game over. Best part about being a sag.. We are confident we got that idgaf attitude once lines are crossed. We go out and meet people not even you thought would keep us at mind (no dates required).. We specialize in hard work, great sex appeal and we know how to charm and express in and out of bed, despite not talkin about our own personal feelings..(all the time) << what a drag down..past is past “live and let live“ to not lose us and end a relationship based off anger and resentment.. Its best to choose all or nothing because our loyalty is pure . Things work both ways some grief some party to fill that empty spot.. And some just take a u-turn and find someone who they can vibe with.. Its not a hate crime on sags its a blunt reflection of what some wish they can do.. Love is a b!#ch ain't it..
@ steffan
I left a message for my sag early hours of this morning just saying how much I missed him and reminded him of a times we spent exactly 12 months ago an that I wanted us to spend time together and If it was ok that I visit end of June . He read it. At 02.00 English time and suddenly I find out two hours ago he took his Viber sim out!!! Now I can’t Contact him but he seemed ok last week! Now what?!! I feel like getting ‘revenge’ now! If he does not want to know me why can’t he tell me?!
Oh Eileen I don’t know what to say, these sag’s are so frustrating sometimes, excuse my ignorance but I presume viber is a app? So when you say he has removed the sim, what do you mean? Sorry never used it!
Hey Steffan
Viber is an App that allows free calls etc! I looked at the help suggestions on the Internet and it says it may hv been an installation problem! It made no sense to me as to why he would behave like that but because sags are so erratic and unlogical (ie in my head 1+1 = 2) but in a silly sags head their minds are not logical !!! So I panicked. Sent him an email anyway ie saying that I was fed up of this ‘silliness’ and if he wants out he should say. I don’t even think he reads his emails …
Anyway I got a message from him saying he was struggling in Mexico and was short of cash and could I help him out!! He sent this text from the Whatsapp app which has not been used for a long time…!!! So I’m letting him ‘sweat’!! I’m tired of this whole thing to be honest. I’m even wondering if he is even worth all this heartache and is this what having a relationship with him going to be like?????!
I did not get that job. So enrolled at another agency. So could certainly do without the extra emotional turmoil.
Hope things are better your end?
Ok first thing is don’t give him money because he hasn’t shown you any respect yet to deserve any money from you.
Why is he struggling? Is he a bit wayward with money? It just seems he only want to speak to you when it suits him not you.
Sorry to hear about the job, keep plugging away.
Things are ok after the high of the kiss, were off to London next weekend which she is looking forward to, I’m confused at whether she is in contact with men, she unblocked me on what’s app the other day to send me some pictures of her and the kids, this is huge because we argued big time a few months ago about me knowing when she was online, so the fact she unblocked me is a huge step, I was with my boy the other day and she left her phone on the table and what’s app popped up with this guy saying “morning babe” when she came back she looked at it then closed it then a few mins later looked at it again and had a pissed off look on her face as she was tapping away, a sort of “leave me alone ” look, then I noticed a lot of guys she has made friends with on Facebook recently she has deleted off there?!
Anyway positivity is the way forward, my anxiety is through the roof but I think London will be interesting
Hi Steffan
Thanks for yr advice.
He is wayward with money and I confess that I helped him out last year. But not any more. So I promise you I will not. I don’t want to be used as a ‘prop’ or a ‘bank’.
He deleted me from Facebook in Feb when we had that big fall out because I saw a pic of him that one of his female friends posted to him timeline and he has a psycho ex who constantly leaves love messages for him and stalks his pics. I mentioned this issue that I had with this last year and he cleaned up his wall. When I mentioned it to him in Feb he got defensive about it telling me not to tell him what to do. So when we fell out I was on his page and noticed him deleting stuff his ex put on there.
Well, as he still has me deleted from his FB, I sneakily made up a peusedo id and had a look on his wall!! Well!!! It’s been COMPLETEDLY cleared up !! All the stuff wiped off!! Although it’s too late for me as I hv already seen the stuff but the fact that it is totally clean is quite astonishing and I also going out that he has been ‘following’ me even though he has blocked me!!! I am losing patience to be honest. It is defo ‘make it or break it’!!
Ps when he sent me a message that went : time are bad here. I wonder if you could loan me £150’… My response was: ‘it’s Eileen’. His response: ‘I know’. I hv not responded and will not respond and hv turned my phone off. The ‘old Eileen’ would hv been at his beg and call straight away.
I can see things are looking up from your end. Do enjoy London and please let me know what musical you will be seeing!
Thanks re job hunt. Just gotta keep plugging away and hope something comes up SOON!!
Hv a great wkend Steffan
Thanks Eileen, were seeing ricky gervais, its her favourite comedian! she will love it.
I’m a virgo and I met my Sag in December, we immediately hit it off. He was really sweet and loving, but after a couple of months went by I felt like he was too needy and insecure and I became unsure about the relationship. After distancing myself from him I realized that I could look past his insecurities because I loved him. Everything was going great, it was perfect. I spent Easter with him and his family and we were talking about settling down together. Out of no where he texts me at 3 am saying he doesn’t feel the same. I was completely caught off guard, five hours earlier he was talking about how much he loved me, moving in together, kids, ect. I was heartbroken, but I sucked it up and told him that I understood and that he was right, we weren’t right for eachother (even though I completely disagreed). He never gave me a reason for the break up, but he told his friend that he was too uncomfortable with the amount of guy friends I have and he suspected that I was cheating, which I wasn’t. Two days later, he blocked me on twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I then found out that he was already talking to some other girl, who by the way just got out of an eleven month relationship. Anyways, I realized that throughout the relationship I may have been cold and distant and maybe I wasn’t the best girlfriend, but I really love him and I just want him to come back. I’ve had no contact with him for three weeks and I’m just worried that he’s moved on and has no intentions of ever coming back, I’m even questioning if he ever felt anything for me because the breakup was so harsh. I don’t know what to think anymore. I’m moving on, but deep down I still want him.
@Elaine – my advice – MOVE ON AND DON’T LOOK BACK!!!
I’m not sure of the age group of you and yr sag but even at age (51 which is the age of the sag I’m dealing with) they are manipulative users! They are insecure and need to be controls the relationship on their terms no matter what. They can ‘cut you off’ without feeling a thing as they are not emotional so feel it less. I’ve known this sag for 12 months and he has just tried To emotionally ‘blackmail me’ and has just ‘cut me off’ without hesitation because I called him out on it… It’s his loss and its YOUR SAGS LOSS TOO! We both deserve better. Virgos are a little cold on the surface ‘self preservation’ but sags play a clever game… Don’t fall for it…. Please just keep moving on… Cause trust me if I knew 12 months ago what I know now I would hv saved myself a whole lots of heartache. Sags maybe charming on the inside but after a while of getting to know and ‘study’ them you soon find out how ‘UGLY’ their insides are!!!
If you know his birthday, and where he was born do a birth chart analysis! If they hv a lot of Scorpio in them especially Venus in Scorpio that is where their ‘manipulative insecure controlling behaviour comes from. Virgos are strong – let him go.
@Steffan – glad things are going great!!! 😀
@ Elaine – PS. If he is accusing you of cheating is more than likely becUse that is what he was doing and using ‘reverse psychology’ on.. He’s hooking up with other girls already – LET HIM GO and
Always remember ‘SHORT TERM PAIN = LONG TERM GAIN’ …
Steffan, my heart just completely goes out to you in this situation that you are in. You are an amazing man & father. I hope yr heart finds peace & joy. Thank you for being so open and sharing your experience so openly. I wish you all the best. I am half Virgo half Leo. I was born on the 23rd of August – a complete mix of both signs. I have the energy of the Lion and the Virgo mindset keeps me grounded. I met a sagittarius guy, completely attracted to him. We live long distance. When we first started talking, he was amazing. Gave me all the attention & affection in the world. The feelings I had for him were like that of an addiction – like a high. I’ve always been a people person, and had an easy ability to get along with anyone I meet. I’m definitely a relationship girl, never had trouble dating or meeting someone new. When I met this guy, I knew he was special!! I tried my hardest to treat him like a king. I let him lead. Adjusting to him was a challenge, he is not a phone person, so we basically only communicated via text. Occasionally we talked on the phone. I tried my hardest to keep him entertained and I so enjoyed his affection when he gave it to me. He would make plans with me or vice versa but never follow through with them. I didn’t want to appear pushy so I just let it be. What I have come to realize with him is that every day is a new day. Yesterday he may have had feelings for me, but that doesn’t mean today he will. I’ve never in my life been so completely challenged by a man before. I was so highly attracted to him and when things were good – it felt amazing. He was up and down with me which definitely was hurtful. I couldn’t rely on his feelings (whatever he may have felt for me) to be consistent. I so badly just wanted to make him happy, please him. I ultimately wanted his heart. He definitely took a hold of my heart when he pursued me in the beginning. Ultimately, I never figured out how to make him happy. I gave him his space, I gave him my loyalty an affection. I never even got the chance to enjoy sex with him. I am a highly sexual person and definitely was looking forward to that with him. I felt him pull back from me an it definitely sucked. I tried asking him to be straight with me, which he wouldn’t. Even if he said he was no longer interested, that would’ve been fine with me. But he would just confuse me with his responses. I tried not to ask him questions and be as patient an understanding as I could possibly be, but one day I just got fed-up and asked him point blank if he just wanted to be friends. I obviously ticked him off. I am sort of thankful that we are not talking right now. He confuses me and when we are talking, it’s like an addicting high. I’ve never had such a hard time understanding someone before, or even such a hard time making one person happy. My last ex who is now my best friend is a Virgo man. I think I am going to try to stick to dating earth signs just for the sake of understanding one-another better. Sorry for the long post. Everyones story was so very interesting and it’s crazy how similar the experiences have been. This blog definitely helped me a ton!!
@ Steffan, how are things now?? How was your trip? I hope ypu are doing good!
Hey Eileen, weekend was interesting but overall good! we argued about what time to leave, she was being very awkward about it and it descended in to a full blown argument no matter what I did to appease the situation, even her mother called her to tell her to wise up! I had to turn around 3 times because she kept saying she felt trapped in the car. On the 3rd one I was driving to London on my own, but 5 mins in to the journey I get a text from her asking me to pick her up, so we finally set off and she went to sleep in the car and woke up in London, she felt better so we headed to the venue and got a couple of drinks down us and we were laughing, chatting and enjoying the show, she said she felt tired and bloated so after the show we headed back to the hotel and I slept on the sofa and she had the bed, next morning she got up and her period had started! so she came back in to the room with a sheepish look and in her own unique way sort of said that may have explained her behaviour the night before, nevertheless Sunday was great we went to hyde park, sat by the lake chatting, then we went for a run, it was glorius. We stopped at a bar and got talking to another couple and she asked if my ex was my wife! my ex said no i’m his girlfriend! ha, i smiled at her when she said that.
We then went to get some nice food for a picnic and sat in the park eating and chattting, it was nice then on the way home she slept again but this time she put her feet on my lap, which I love.
I stayed the night on the couch in her house and she gave me a massive tight hug before bed, best since we split and next morning she kissed me on the cheek before work, something she hasnt done since we split.
We went food shopping yesterday together and she was feeding chocolate in to my mouth as we were walking round, dont know if she realises she is doing it or is it habit?
I didnt stay long last night and went home, she text to say if I was ok and we ended up opening our hearts about us, she said she flits back and forth with us, her feelings for me have faded and she is still angry but she knows we would be happy again if we tried. I just said that I dont want to force her in to anything, if she gave us a proper chance to fall in love over again it will be a 100 times better than before, she agreed.
So patience needed here, she doesnt want me to go, but slowly she is warming to me and opening up just slightly.
Sorry for the long post!!
@ Steffan
That is great news! That’s a step in the right direction and I am very happy for you.
As you probably already know (and I am slowly coming to realise this) Sags say a lot of things they dont mean (if they really care about you) and their short fuse only last a few hours ! We had our disagreement and he had unblocked me within a few hours!! I left him to cool down for a couple days. I told him that he needed to make a decision to return to the UK and give our relationship a chance to develop. He said he knew this which is why he left Mexico City (I hv to admit he was getting just a little too comfortable there!) and has travelled to a port in southern Mexico for an interview to work as a deck officer on a ship headed towards the UK. He has not had any news yet but his intention is to stay there until any job on a ship comes up so he can return to UK. He has a naval degree and has worked on my ships, tankers and cruise liners!! So he is back to his ‘affectionate’ self and has started to call me by a private nickname he uses for me! So we are ‘back on track’ (for now – you can’t tell with a sag !!! Lol lol – but if they want/need you they will come around – it does not matter who makes the ‘first’ move – as long as they respond it means they still care – when they don’t respond – its OVER!!).
We will watch this space Steffan – as my ‘journey’ is not over – he is still in southern Mexico on his way to me so still got a way to go before our ‘real journey’ beginnings!!!
Please keep in touch Steffan. It’s been pleasure talking to you!!!
Hey Eileen, thats great, I do like your line “but if they want/need you they will come around – it does not matter who makes the ‘first’ move – as long as they respond it means they still care – when they don’t respond – its OVER!!).”
That is very true, she wants me in her life, I need to accept that as a positive, ok its not intimate but i’m there with her most of the time, better than nothing. The key word I keep picking up from her is “i’m not ready” its not “i dont want to” or “no chance”
Plus the kids are non the wiser, this is a massive thing, she is holding a flame for us but not fanning it! best way to describe it, Sag’s will come back but on their terms and time, so its like its their idea and they havent been forced in to making a decision, it was their decision all along!!
I’ve decided to sit back and enjoy my time with her, i’m desperate to be intimate again with her but I will have to let her make that move.
I’m glad things are finally moving the right way for you…….
Steffan – don’t worry about the ‘intimacy’ – for a sag I believe ‘needing’ for them is more important than intimacy ie to be there when they ‘need’ you which is why it is better to develop a ‘friendship’ with a sag first and foremost … It will take time for the intimacy to develop again and it will .. Give it time.. Be a friend to her again and be there to support her no matter what her needs are and the intimacy will reappear ‘naturally’.
Sag wants a very very good friendship first regardless of feelings .. They may appear to be ‘happy’ but those of us who study sag know that they very ’emotionally’ dependant people. They only ‘appear’ independent because they hv family or close friends ‘invisibly’ supporting them in the ‘background’. They are sad, vulnerable, needy, emotional, weak, insecure people on the inside who only portray what they ‘want’ to be on the outside. They hv complex difficult personalities that need a lot of love and understanding but not many people who hv/want a ‘relationship/friendship’ with a sag because sag is impatient and many people don’t last the ‘sell by date’ to find out the ‘true’ personality of the sag.
I hope this makes sense…! My sag is abroad and i guess he needs me more than I need him. So when he calls on me I’ll be there to support him no matter what … Should he ever f***k it up he will know deep in his soul that he lost the best thing he could ever hv had. Sags are not stupid … They are classed as ‘highly intelligent’ so I guess they know what is good for them and no matter how many arguments etc. they are NEVER gonna let go of a good thing unless they are STUPID!!
You hang in Steffan – you hv all the time in the world and at 6 years plus you hv surpassed your ‘sell by date’ in sag terms!! Lol lol
As I said I still hv a Long journey … We will stay in touch 😉
Spk soon
Steffan
Ps. For your chart you also need To put in place of birth in the UK
Ascendant sign – how you are perceived by others
Sun – how you do for yourself ie yr traits
Moon – emotions
Mercury – how you communicate
Venus – what you are attracted to
Mars – how you ‘act’
The above things are important to know in yr chart and the other persons chart so hv an idea of how you both relate as individuals.
Once you hv both of your details you can compare both charts together and see how you relate to each other! Quite interesting !!
HI Eileen, that is such a great message, Your so right about the intimacy and needing, really cheered me up and put a great perspective on it.
I have to say I fell out with my mother who was being quite derogotory about my ex, my ex text to see if I was ok and I told her what happened and she kept saying “do what you want to do, what makes you happy, people tell me what to do all the time and I just tell them i’ll do it my way” (typical sag!) she was being supportivebut she said what do you want to do? and I said I want to fight for us, she said “ok but at the moment I want to but my heart is not in it, I cant tell what will happen, good or bad”
Very non committal and obviously a forced sag is not worth it, she needs to come to me, so just before bed she text asking if im sure im alright? and would I like to sleep on the sofa? I declined and said i’ll be ok.
I went there this morning and she kissed me on the cheek before she left for work, now this is the 2nd time she has done this but this time it was in front of her mum! she said a few months ago she could never be affectionate with me in front of her mother because of what i did, so this is pretty big again, her mother was so happy for me but told me to be calm and relax.
Sfeffan, her mother is right – ‘stay calm and relax is good advice.
Also spend more time sleeping at yr own place so she gets to ‘miss’ you – you made a mistake and you are trying to make amends but u also do not want to be at her ‘beg and call’ every time either – if you are always available to her she has her cake and eat it and won’t feel the need to be in a relationship with you as you are there already!! Get it?! So carry on life as normal ie go out with yr friends, work, enjoy yr hobbies, see the kids and stay at ur place more often. SHE NEEDS TO FEEL THE ‘EMPTINESS’ OF NOT HVING YOU AROUND!!!! Ok? Don’t make things too eze for her. You don’t want this situation to ‘String out’ too long and the longer sag gets to think … It will become boring for her the longer this situation drags on as sags hv low attention span…. Do u understand where I am coming from? You need to ‘take control’ but in a ‘subtle’ way…?
Steffan
Ps. Also i know when you give too much rope the person usually ends up ‘hanging’ themselves with it !!!
HI Eileen, Your right, I did the chart and she has aquarius rising and I have researched this and absence does make the heart grow fonder, I’m feeling more comfortable to do this, its been ever so difficult but I feel better within.
Lets see what happens!
Steffan
Aquarius rising – needs a lot space, Aquarius.
Good news all round! I got a long term temp pos for patent and trade mark firm and start Tues!
Hv gd BH!
I’m a female sag. I just had a whirlwind with a virgo male for 6 mos. . He was the most attentive and thoughtful person I have ever met in my life. Our connection was so deep it cut right through me. We made all these plans to be together and making a life together one day. Then one day he flipped the switch and started to distance himself. He then told me he decided to work things out with his wife that he was separated from …he said because she was trying…and he had to see if there was anything left with her if we were ever going to work out in the future. I was crushed!! We work together and it’s so tough seeing him every day. I see him look at me all the time when he passes my desk..he’ll ask me how my weekend was..small talk. He walks around depressed sometimes. I think it’s hard for him too. I think he keeps his distance because he’s really trying to see if there’s anything left in his relationship. He told me when he decided this that he’s still in love with me but it’s something he has to do because they have kids together and that it’s hard for him to deal with that’s why he keeps his distance from me. I just wonder sometimes what he’s thinking…I’ve started to pull away myself..trying not to look at him or initiate convos because if we do end up together I want it because I didn’t get in the way of whatever he’s trying to prove. I’m dying inside i love him so much but just so confused about things right now…please help any virgo male perspective on what is going through his head. And if I keep not communicating with him and putting on this facade that I’m doing A ok would that confuse him?..
Also is typical for virgo males to have a lot of female friends?….
Hi Eileen, I’m a little confused today, I overheard her on the phone to the guy she was seeing, I only heard a bit but it was enough, she was talking about how frustrated she was sexually, she said that she has to be emotionally attached to someone to have sex and that she was emotionally attached to this guy even though he said it wasn’t serious. Made me quite insignificant listening to all this after the great few weeks we have had, I didn’t tell her I heard her but I asked her to be honest with me because I’m trying so hard with us but she has this wall up which she won’t let me in. She kept telling me there is no one else but she can’t help how she feels about me at the moment, it’s always at the moment, like leaving a door slightly open to me?
This guy disappeared for a while and now he wants some more, I feel drained and gutted, I just can’t get past the past with her, she constantly reminds me that I ruined this not her, I’m exhausted…….
Hi Steffan
Sorry to hear this. From what I can gather, she is not the type of woman to hv sex with someone unless there is an emotional connection. Its seems as though she is more emotionally connected to this guy than he is with her ( he has also told her that he does not want anything serious – so that basically explains how this guy views his relationship with her!). So maybe her sexual frustration comes because he is not and does not want to be emotionally connected to her and therefor they do not physically ‘engage’ as often as she would like. In fact he disappeared (probably dating other women) and seeing her when he feels like it. Looks as if she is wasting her time but please don’t let her waste your time.
Either she is is prepared to forgive you, ‘bury the hatchet’ and work with you to build on ur relationship TOGETHER or you go your separate ways? The point being ‘how does she feel about you’?! If she cant answer with a positive reply – then you need to look after yourself ’emotionally’ ie ‘walk away’ sever the relationship with her and just hv a relationship with the kids and get her to tell the kids your relationship has ended. She is not being fair to you – keeping you ‘hanging on ‘ with ‘no light at the end of the tunnel’ or ‘no gains for all your efforts’.
You made a mistake and she broke up with you. When my sag and I had an argument last year in Dec through a heated argument he split up with me but he was back 7 days later and it was resolved (he said that through anger). We have arguments with each other but we don’t break up with each other – we resolve the arguments as i realise that he has a quick temper but is very forgiving and does not bear a grudge so argument is forgotten.
Yr sag split with you a few months ago and from what I can gather she does not seem to want to forgive or forget and seems to remind you of yr mistake on a continual basis (whether intentional or unintentional) merely for the fact that she seems to refuse to making any kind of decision to work towards making your relationship work. So may be she meant this break up and has no intention of getting back with you? It seems as if you are doing all the work to prove yourself for nothing? What do you think?
Yes I think this break up was meant to be the one for her but I think she underestimated “us” as a couple because she still has a burning desire for us to be together, she said earlier that she would love to have us back together but she can’t help how she feels at the moment.
Do I keep fighting in the hope it changes or do I leave, she said she is still hurting, I just don’t know what to do?
She says she still cares for me but she doesn’t want to lead me on because she doesn’t feel the same at the moment, see what I mean about these “at the moment” I keep getting.
I’ve been really upset today about this and feel like I’m back to square one, it was only on Tuesday we held hands while I was driving, she said to me I looked “super handsome last night, that shirt does you justice” really warming things to do and say.
She is as confused as I am, she just doesn’t admit to it, my heart is burning for her and I feel I must continue the fight but I told her I’m really scared at what she could do with my heart, she kept saying she isn’t pursuing anyone, but she does like to chat to men, I honestly thought over the last month she had decided to stop pursuing guys and give us a chance albeit slowly, I’ve been spending loads of time with her and it’s been great especially the weekend just gone where we laughed and joked like old times, but this guy might put a spanner in the works there, he clearly is only interested in one thing but she doesn’t see that, she always said to me she could only be in to one guy at a time and I guess that guy isn’t me ………….. At the moment
Steffan as you said the break up was from HER. The only thing you can control and think for i ls YOUR OWN feelings and thoughts. The only reason I am still wanting to be with my sag is because during the 12 months we would argue over the status of our relationship as because of the distance and how we met I always needed to know if he still felt the same. Now he has ALWAYS confirmed the ‘positivity’ AND kept me posted on how he viewed things with his actions (so well in fact I can now ‘read’ him). If he at any stage had been giving me the signals your sag has given you I would hv WALKED AWAY because I always said from day one that I never want to ‘outstay my welcome and should his feelings change to tell me and I will walk away for good’..
This paragraph here
Yes I think this break up was meant to be the one for her but I THINK she underestimated “us” as a couple because she still has a burning desire for us to be together, she said earlier that she would love to have us back together but she can’t help how she feels at the moment.
HAve you noticed my emphasis on the word ‘ I think’.
1. You cant think for her.
2. If she has a ‘burning desire’ for you both to get back together then why does she not prove this? It’s like She is in mexico like my sag so why all her excuses?
3. She is not being 100% honest. She tells you one thing and her actions are saying something else.
4. She is also seeing someone else. If She was serious about you would she want to see other people?
5. If that guy is the ‘spanner in the works’ well guess who put him there?! She did!!
This paragraph:
‘She says she still cares for me but she doesn’t want to lead me on because she doesn’t feel the same at the moment, see what I mean about these “at the moment” I keep getting.’
If my sag said this to me I would hv walked away the minute these words came out of his mouth. That says it all really — you can ‘care’ for a pet or a plant too !
She pursues other men as a ‘single’ woman would ie that is obviously how She sees the situation.
Sag is honest – when she complimented you she was being honest at least she would see it as that as sags are flirtatious!!!! Don’t forget that – so you cant take her flirtation as her being personal to you ?!!! You know sags will do anything for attention !!
Steffan, seriously after what I been through I feel your hurt – I feel as if someone has died and can feel the heaviness of my heart as if it is broken and I cry oceans an unbearably indescribable pain runs through me when my sag and I argue and I told him this. So I understand where u are coming from. You so desperately want this to work but I say you need to ‘save’ yourself. Put YOU as an individual first; your kids NEXT ; her LAST.
YOU MADE A MISTAKE (a mistake that is huge as sags HATE dishonesty) and you may just have To accept that this mistake may hv cost you your relationship and for you this may be the hardest thing for you accept.
I suggest you try to accept this and concentrate on YOUR LIFE, your confidence as an individual again. You were with her 6 years and the minute she breaks up with you she is seeing other people?! I never understand that. I’ve been single and celebate for 10 years since i broke up my last relationship 10 years ago and hv also been single and celebate since my sag went away lasy year!! I don’t understand people who hook up with others so quickly – nonetheless each to their own.
She is looking after herself and you need to look after yourself. I would never advise a person to do what I myself would not do but as I said if my sag said any of those fhingS to me in the 12 months I hv known him I would hv ended our communication and our friendship the moment he said the words your sag said to you.
Did you do birth charts?! Do you both hv Venus in Scorpio? And Scorpio in any other areas of your charts?
Please forgive me If the above seems hard Steffan. Let me know how you feel or think about what I hv written. I hurts, I know this but relationships can also drive you serious to a mental and emotional wreck (I feel like this with my sag on off days and when we argue and the frustration of him being abroad which makes communication difficult and ‘uncertainty/doubt’ strong at times) but you need to ‘draw back’.
I’m here for you ok? Digest what I hv said and get back to me – Virgos like to ‘fix things’ but maybe this relationship cannot be ‘fixed?
I’m here for you.
She has Venus in Scorpio and we both have Uranus in Scorpio
It’s ok Eileen I know your right and acting the right thing to do in reality is harder than I have ever experienced before, I’m actually over the house now as I agreed to be here tonight, were getting on great again, it’s so hard, I’m unable to accept she doesn’t want me, I can’t help it, I’m trying but it’s horrific to think of life without her, why has she refrained from telling the kids? This I don’t understand, to me it’s a nod that she isn’t sure?
I’m going to ride this storm Eileen, I hear what your saying and I know your right but I’m going to risk myself in the hope it’s moving the right way even though there are bumps in the road. I’ve gone from break up and space needed to the position I’m in now which is far better than day 1 of our split, she doesn’t take our 6 years lightly, yes she may or may not be seeing someone but she definately hasn’t in the last month because I have been with her more or less the whole time, I caught a glimpse of a phonecall and maybe It’s me over analysing as usual
Thanks Eileen for your awsome insight
Steffan – do not apologise. I understand how you feel I hate ‘giving up’ on people too and as you say it is ‘easier said than done’. Only YOU know how much you can take and how much it affects you.
Maybe she is not ready yet to tell the kids knowing the affect it will hv on them. Maybe she is making certain first of her decision before she does this.
But take this advice – DISTANCE yourself from her. If you are there 24/7 it will not be helpful – u need to take out ‘slowly’. She broke up with you. Remember that… So keep some distance ok? You are not in a relationship with her right now so take some time out – do stuff for yourself ; get confidence back ; MAKE HER MISS YOU. She cannot miss you if you are there all the time.. YOU need to make her feel what it would be like to be WITHOUT YOU – not the other way round – get ?!
I am only here to listen And give advice. Ultimately the decision is yours and i cld be in the same Position as you next week…. Afterall he is sag And my journey is still no where near over … He is still in Mexico but DEFO told me he wants to return and I can ‘feel’ this in him…. But I still hv a journey to go… Lol lol
What is your Venus?
My sag has
Pisces rising (rising – perceived by others)
Sun in sag (sun – actions for oneself)
Moon in Taurus (moon – emotions)
Venus in Scorpio (Venus – how person loves)
Mars in Leo (mars – the persons drive)
Mercury in sag (mercury – communication)
I am
Leo rising
Sun in Taurus
Moon in Leo
Venus in Pisces
Mars in Taurus
Mercury in Aries
These are the main things to look at to any persons chart!!
My Venus is Leo
Leo !!! Lol it’s difficult hving Leo ‘placements’ lol
We had A little falling out this morning, my fault, I was putting clothes away last night ( I know stupid really, shouldn’t be doing it) I was putting her underwear away and I saw she had bought new sexy underwear and I remember her talking about it to this guy on the phone. Anyway she was going on about how shabby her underwear was and I said she had some new sexy ones and it just escalated from there, saying I was sifting through her personal stuff etc, I just broke down and told her I was tired and drained of all this, I can’t put myself in this situation anymore where I still sub consciously feel like her boyfriend, I have to take control of my life for once I said, I’m torn because I want to be with her but I have to erase her from my life I said, but I also want to be with the kids too, she then said the usual I destroyed this to which I told her to stop going on about that, it’s done it’s in the past and I know what I did and lost, at this point she seemed taken back a bit, she was actually on the way to the gym so she said she had to go and she wasn’t being rude, she also kept saying that she isn’t seeing anyone, she said “I go out with my friends, work, gym and home”
So I guess I’ve got the ball rolling now, I’m intrigued why she constantly reiterates the fact she isn’t seeing anyone, is that a sign of guilt or is it really her wanting me to feel better at the fact she really isn’t seeing anyone?
Hi Steffan
I hv to say in my 20 years I hv never ever let a man near my underwear let alone ‘put it away’!! Lol
Any how, the decision is yours but as you can see she broke up with you and is no where near at the ‘forgive and forget’ stage. Obviously what you did was enough To cause severe damage. Whether she is seeing others or not is not your concern as You are no longer a couple. So I guess in her head she can do whatever And see whosoever She likes and so can you. She is seeing people … She was seeing that guy and you heard her on the phone to him.
The problem is you cant blame her for this situation and the fact that you are still ‘hanging’ around like a boyfriend is not her fault either (you chose to do this!) and she’s probably thinking the same think to is. ‘he caused me to split up with him. He is still ‘hanging around’ and blaming me for his current predicament….’
As I said if I were currently in your shoes I would ‘let go’ carry on living my life (as she is doing!!!!) ie my hobbies, gym, hang out with my friends instead of hanging out at her place and see the kids at wkends. Until she gives you signs that she wants to be with you again and try and work fhingS out – I would try and get on living my life. You don’t want to start being there at her place and become an ‘nuisance’ or ‘irritation’ – don’t run that risk.